


Near the Sea We’d Drown Together

by babiest



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M, Fenris and Not Hawke Hawke go on an adventure like a 2000s fantasy movie, Hawke Twins, Nonbinary Hawke - Freeform, Will add tags as it goes along, fenris is full of longing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:13:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21755833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babiest/pseuds/babiest
Summary: To the world Hawke was larger than life itself, the tales Varric told of her almost paled in comparison to the real thing. After the events of Kirkwall Hawke set off to the seas with her lover, leaving the rest of her friends to their own bidding. What Fenris thought would finally be some time to himself and some peace and quiet, ends up being just the beginning of another misadventure.
Relationships: Fenris/Female Hawke





	Near the Sea We’d Drown Together

The aftermath of the chantry explosion was bloody and vivid and brilliant. At least that was how hawke kept describing it, despite originally being furious at Anders for keeping the information from her. Anders could only sheepishly watched as she tore into him with both reprimand and praise, unable to say a thing. Fenris remembered his weak smile at her, eyes constantly flickering towards the dagger she held in her hands.

Hawke pulled him into a tight embrace, and dropped the knife behind him. She mumbled something to him that he did not catch, and Sebastian was seething. Understandably, it made perfect sense as to why he was furious. It did not however sway Hawke from her decision in the slightest. Leaving him storming away with some promise to show Anders proper justice, whatever that was. 

And to the gallows she went and to the gallows they followed.

It had only been a short time since that all happened. Fenris forgot to keep track of time on the road, he used to be rather good at being able to tell the day and time when he was constantly on the run. Though the days in kirkwall all blended into each other. He also wouldn’t leave his mansion in hightown for days at a time for reasons he couldn’t even currently remember. He was sure he could convince himself they were important some other time.

Here he was. Camped away on the side of some road, Kirkwall feeling more and more like a distant memory. He knew Merrill and Varric stayed behind and Hawke kept Anders in her clutches as she sailed away with Isabela. Fenris sailed with them for a short while, just until they reached Denerim and he decided he’d travel on his own for now. Hawke was upset over this. He understood her need to keep her shambled family together, he even sympathized over it with her to an extent. But he needed to figure out his life from here on out, without following Hawke around. Being alone after so long was such a strange feeling, he couldn’t say he didn’t miss the company he kept in Kirkwall despite any complaining he did. He somehow even found himself longing for the constant bickering with both Merrill and Anders at this point. Of all things. It was simply too silent. He ruffled his hair in frustration.

He wondered what Hawke was doing currently, he wondered if he should have stayed behind with Hawke anyways. As if he could stay on a ship with Anders and Isabela at the same time. He clicked his tongue and fell backwards onto his bedroll, he couldn’t be bothered to try and save his dying fire. It was a warm night out anyways. He began contemplating getting something to do on the road. Maybe he could try and keep a journal, that's good writing practice. Imagining the look of surprise on Hawke’s face when she received a letter written by only him made him smile. Then he considered the fact that getting letters to a ship would probably be very difficult. Maybe he could write to Varric about it.

“Let go of me! I’ll flame your small clothes off I swear!”

He had heard of thinking about someone so much you begin to hear their voice everywhere. He never really remembered Hawke screeching though, she sort of barked.

“Someone shut her up, get the magebane or something! Maker this thing yells like its got its head cut off.”

“Get off of me! I’m not a thing I’m a person and if I don’t want to be taken back to-”

Fenris heard something he could only assumed was a body falling to the floor. 

He sighed. It was due to Hawkes influence that he even bothered in the first place to helping strangers. Now he had to help this person who sounded like shrill Hawke.

He walked through forage to find five men and the body lying on the floor. Which honestly wasn’t too much of a rare sight in the state of the current world they lived in, though he didn’t realize slavers were brave enough to dare this far south. He took a deep breath to calm himself before quietly walking behind one of the men. 

He’s already got one down before the other four can say “what”, with a still beating heart in the palm of his hand he sees the other men stumble trying to comprehend what happened. One of the few good things about the lyrium tattoos were the abilities to throw people into shock, horror, and confusion. Throwing the organ to the ground he dashes towards the two dragging the body and with a heavy swing of his greatsword pins them to a tree

“What are you standing around looking foolish for?! Get him!” a rather well dressed man yells at the largest oaf there.  
Who wears their best party clothes to kidnap people?

Tevinter. 

Fenris smiled to himself. 

before  
He attempts to strain his neck to see any sign of a slaver mage, but the larger slaver reaches out to attack him with his dagger. Dodging it narrowly he puts all of his attention onto the man. 

If there were a mage in the party, someone would have turned into some sort of abomination by now, he reckoned, getting his body ready for the next attack. 

“Behind you!” the once passed out not-Hawke yelled out (shrilly).

Before he could turn around a blast of ice magic turned a slavers head into a block ice, making them stumble backwards. 

“There’s the mage,” he said under his breath. 

***

It didn’t take much effort to get the rest of the men down even without the help of the mage he would have managed. He told himself. 

“W-wow we really killed them? Didn’t we,” the mage looked down at the bodies holding onto their staff with a vice grip. 

He raised his brow at them, We?, he thought.

“They were slavers,” he said simply, “Were it not you they would have gone after someone else, even less capable perhaps.”

The mage nodded, then chuckled voice still shaky, “Well not that capable, I was in hot water until you came along.”

“Well I assume you can make your way back to the Circle you came from, or wherever. I trust you’re simple lost and looking to find your way home are you not? Back where you belong.”

They visibly winced, “I’m not lost. And I am not some pup to tell to go back to it’s cage. I am an apostate on a journey to-”

“Dead.”

“Excuse me?”

Fenris looked at them in disbelief, “You’d be dead by now if you were speaking to anyone else. You shouldn’t let people know that about you especially after the Kirkwall Rebellion. How did you even make it all the way out here is something I’d like to know.” 

“The Kirkwall Rebellion is precisely why I’m on a journey! Of the utmost importance! Now I may not have any funds at hand but you seem to not mind me being a mage, therefore-”

“No.”

“I-I didn’t even finish the proposition!”

“You can’t start a proposition without having anything to pay with first of all, I don’t give handouts to lost adults who should be able to have a semblance of understanding how the world works. If you want help try finding more mages to hang out with.”

Fenris could hear the mage fumbling to speak without having to turn around, he had to admit it had been awhile since he met someone he could string along to such a degree. The last person had been Anders, perhaps he just had an afinity for making human mages furious. He thought, he must have had it too good being surrounded around people for the last eight years

“My sister!” they finally sputtered, “I need to find my sister please, it’s been years I can’t even recall how many. I can’t do it alone.”

Hawke truly has been the worst influence in his life thus far, as he now felt compelled to help strangers as soon as their voices got wet and wobbly. 

He turned around to see the mage looking at him desperately. It was as it a demon casted a spell to show him one of the few faces he felt he could trust, sometimes the only face he could trust. They had Hawke’s eyes, the same color and shape. However, their expression was comically pathetic something he couldn’t in his wildest daydreams imagine Hawke making.

“Your sister, do you know where she is?” he asked cautiously, if this mage had casted a spell on him to garner his sympathy, they were dead. Though instincts told him this person was too stupidly naive to delve into any sort of trickery.

He assumed anyways. 

“N..No… I do not…” they said shamefully, “But I know if I try hard enough I can find her! I will, I must. My whole family, I’d give anything to see them all again!” 

“Your name, what is your name exactly.”

“Fayre, Fayre Hawke. My sisters name is Roselle Hawke! Have you heard of her?”

“Are you serious? Hawke? The Hawke?”

“Of course I am! Why would I not be?”

“She’s the damned Champion of Kirkwall, half of Thedas has heard of her!”

“We… don’t get much on current events in the circle, well if you don’t care much for that sort of thing. I mean.”

“You paid no attention to the outside world and expected to be able to find your sister? What did you propose to get out anyways, with what’s going on with these mage politics I’m surprised you were even allowed to take leave.”

“...Well, no I didn’t, I mean I didn’t exactly have time to do any research. About my sister. Or get… permission to… leave... “

Fenris looked at the mage trying to shrink in on themself in absolute disbelief.

“A runaway? An apostate? If you weren’t sure how to sell yourself to get a free bodyguard that’s something you should definitely keep to yourself.”

As if it has just occurred to the person that he truly would not help them, shock finally begun to settle on their face, “So you really won’t be helping me?”

It was comical how different the siblings appeared to be from each other Roselle never allowed herself to make any faces that weren’t of absolute confidence in front of complete strangers. That was the woman who kept her cool upon nearly being gutted by the Arishok in front of all the nobles in Kirkwall. The person in front of him wouldn’t be able to last half a round of wicked grace.

“I’ll help you… Despite how foolish it will be to travel with a wanted apostate.” Again anyways, he thought.

Fayre made a squeal of delight and bounced on their feet unable to contain their joy, another difference between the two he noted. They attempted to clasp their hands in his, he pulled his back as if he had been scalded. Fayre ignored it.

“Thank you thank you thank you! So much more than anything, this has been the most important thing to me since I was first taken by templars. You have no idea…” Fayre’s eyes began to become damp, “how much… this means…”

Immediately made uncomfortable by such an open display of emotion he grimaced, “It… Is no problem, seeing as I owe her a lifetime’s worth of favors.” 

Fayre nodded tears falling down their face, “I just, I just knew I would need help a-and I had no money and no experience,” the more they went on the less Fenris could understand them through the crying, “I didn’t know where to start and then the-”

“Maybe we should find somewhere to sleep for the night before we get into anything as… emotionally devastating as that.” 

Fayre nodded and attempted to collect themself and their scare belongings into a satchel. He couldn’t imagine anyone thinking they could survive on the roads with nothing but some writing material and some herbs. The mage seemed to be the perfect example to teach children how to not travel if they would like to live past the day.

“Oh that’s right, I’ve given you my name but I haven’t asked for yours! So brave knight please do tell what is the name of my savior,” they smiled at him. For someone who was near begging on their knees a moment ago they didn’t seem to mind cracking unfunny jokes.

“Just,” he racked his brain for anything to be called, unsure if he could handle being called his name by someone who looked and sounded like Hawke,”...call me Leto, that will do for now.” 

He speedily walked ahead, but not too far ahead, before Fayre could bother asking what “for now” meant. Which they did, but he was far ahead enough ahead to pretend he couldn’t hear. 

***

_“You know Fenris, I had a sister,” Roselle said idly, she was curled up by the fireplace akin to a housecat. Her glass of wine dangerously close to accidentally being kicked if she were to spread out any further.  
“You have a sister, and a brother,” Fenris laughed, he sat next to her feeling sleepy from the wine and the warmth of the fire “Did you get into another fight?”  
Roselle chuckled, combed her hair back with her hand, it fell prettily to the sides of her face. Fenris took a slow drink from his cup, and tried not to pay anymore attention.  
“A twin. She looks just like me. I know it sounds fake, like something from one of Varric’s stories, but you must believe me,” she reached for his hand, “She’s the only one the templars managed to take away. The only one…”  
“That does sound like a fantasy, I can’t imagine anyone being able to slip away from you.”  
She tilted her head to the side where he sat, giving him the saddest face he had ever seen from her.  
“If only.”_

_The conversation died after that, until she fell into a deep sleep using his body to support herself, he carefully carried her up into her bed laying her down gently. He combed his hair back with his hand, noted that it was too long and needed to be cut, and made his way out her room quietly closing her door. She couldn’t be alone anymore, not after Leandra, she just couldn’t handle it. She complained initially that being watched by someone different every so often felt as though she was a child in need of a nurse. But everyone knew she needed it. Herself especially._

_Isabela had made her way home finally, she stood at the doorway while Fenris walked to greet her. She gave him a tired smile as to thank him for watching over **her** Hawke. Or perhaps he was reading too much into it. It wasn’t true anyways, she was just as much everyone else's as she was Isabela’s. That’s what he told himself anyways, as he nodded back to her. Because Hawke chose Isabela to stay with her in her house to keep her company after everything that had happened between them, because she loved her deeply. He chastised himself for thinking that way. Isabela gave him a thankful kiss on the cheek and he nearly slammed the door on the way out. Here he was with a woman making hum behave as irrationally as he was. It was pathetic, there were more hardships to life than unsaddled unrequited nonsense! He should have counted himself lucky for the love she did give him. Compared to how many other silent admirers she must have, their time together was a blessing. He would convince himself over a bottle of wine when he got home. Though it didn’t matter how much he drank, he never managed to believe what he said. _

**Author's Note:**

> omg hi (blushing emoji) i’ve kinda has this au on the backburner for forever and i was like i might as well post it haha... i want to say the lead hawke in this fic is a nonbinary one! they use they/them pronouns and are comfortable being grouped with women. also worth noting that despite this being my first posted hawke first my hawkes are verrrrry different in da canon so its pretty funny the first thing im posting of them is an au where theyre so different! ahaha anyways... ill probably come back to this fic eventually? i have most of it planned out but not much of it written, ik im mostly writing this for myself so idk how interesting this will be to anyone but! i hole if you did read it you enjoyed it nonetheless :)


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